Who She Is Within
by Shadow Angel
Summary: Perspective tale of Agrias and what she thinks about the war, the Princess being kidnapped, and most of all... Ramza.


Author's Note: My first and probably only FFT's fic. As you read, please keep in mind that I haven't played the game in about three or four years so, inaccuracies are expected. I would appreciate it if you guys pointed out the real bad ones, though. ^_^ Arigatou!  
  
  
  
*Disclaimer*: Final Fantasy Tactics belongs to Squaresoft (what doesn't these days...) and I have in no way claimed that it belongs to me.  
  
  
  
  
  
Who She Is Within  
  
The late-summer night was warm in the forest. The ruby moon above cast its luminance into a clearing where a large group had stopped for the night.  
  
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The sound of the whetstone against her blade was the only sound Agrias concentrated on. The talking and revelry of the rest of the troops went on unnoticed around her as she honed her already sharp blade further. Unlike some of the careless knaves around her, she was always ready for a battle if it became necessary. _When_ it became necessary.  
  
~Princess Ovelia... We will get you back...~  
  
Her auburn brows furrowed and she used more force in her sharpening than was necessary as she thought about the Princess. They had lost the Princess to the enemy _twice_ now.  
  
_She_ had lost the Princess to the enemy twice now...  
  
In the end, it was always _he_ the one who came through for them.  
  
Her sharpening slowed and she unconsciously glanced up, her azure eyes searching among the troops with a mind of their own. Once she realized what she was doing, she mentally cursed herself and sharply turned her attention back to her weapon. Her irritation added strenght to her task.  
  
The fire crackled merrily in the dark-shrouded clearing and everyone was gathered 'round it and the fowl the Archers had hunted for dinner. Agrias didn't move from the fallen log she was sitting on as one of the Chemists (Aurora was her name, if Agrias recalled correctly) announced dinner was ready.  
  
"Aren't you hungry?" Mustadio asked her as he came over with a plate full of the roast meat. "That sword seems sharp enough from here," he continued, smiling cheerfully.  
  
Offering his plate, he looked at her questioningly in his friendly manner and Agrias warmed her cold gaze a bit. The young mechanic from Goug the Machine City had tried to be friendly ever since Ramza had decided to save his arse a few weeks ago. It would be rude to dismiss him when he was obviously trying to be nice, by Ramza's logic.  
  
"No thanks. I don't have much of an appetite at the moment," Agrias refused, turning her concentration back to her sharpening.  
  
"So it's true what some of the troops say," Mustadio mused as he leaned back against a tree next to her.  
  
"And what's that?" Agrias asked, her focus on her blade never wavering.  
  
"That the Great Agrias, Captain of Her Highness' Knights, doesn't need normal means of sustenance," he replied as he took a bite out of a wing.  
  
Agrias' eyebrows lifted, but she didn't look up. "Who said this?"  
  
Mustadio shrugged as he swallowed. "Who isn't saying it. They all practically idolize you."  
  
This time Agrias did look up. "Why?" she asked, genuinely surprised.  
  
He looked at her and frowned a bit. "You've been around them longer than I have and you don't know? Hmm..."  
  
Agrias' expression grew cool. "Well, I'm not exactly the most social one of the party."  
  
He nodded. Couldn't quite argue with that. Even with his friendly tendencies, it had been hard enough to approach this young legend. Her serious exterior and aloof attitude were pretty intimidating. And she had no idea how it added to her mysteriousness.  
  
He finished the wing and threw the bone over his shoulder before reaching for a leg.  
  
"You _do_ know that most of the troops came fresh out from the Academy, right?" he asked after a minute.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well think of it this way. You're everything they hope to be someday. Maybe not all of them want to become Knights, but they _do_ want to be so good at what they do that they'll get recognized by someone. You got recognized by the throne..."  
  
Agrias frowned thoughtfully and turned back down to stare at the sword lying across her knees. A symbol of what she was... Of who they thought she was...  
  
After a long while (and a couple of pieces of the mystery bird later), Mustadio spoke again.  
  
"Ramza should be back soon."  
  
Agrias immediately stiffened. Irritated by this reaction, she glanced up and glared at the young mechanic.  
  
"Why should I care," she snapped.  
  
He blinked and looked down at her, surprised. "I was just saying... He should be almost finished with his scouting, that's all..."  
  
Agrias looked away and closed her eyes, regretting the way she reacted. It's just that her feelings got her so confused...  
  
She took a deep breath and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Mustadio. I... It's just that..." She trailed off helplessly.  
  
"It's okay," he quickly reassured, smiling slightly. "No need to explain. I'm gonna go see if I can get any seconds, so if you'll excuse me?"  
  
Giving her a last sheepish smile, he walked away, back to join the circle of people surrounding the fire.  
  
She smiled a bit at his blond ponytail. There was something so endearing about him. An innocence he possessed that reminded her of Ovelia's optimism. But Mustadio was more carefree. The Princess had had so many things clouding her mind in the past year...  
  
Thinking of Ovelia brought the pain back in her heart.  
  
~The girl trusted me to protect her... Not to mention her family and Father Simon...~  
  
Suddenly feeling that solitude was what she needed, Agrias stood up and sheathed her sword. She stuffed the whetstone into her saddlebag, which was on the ground beside her before silently catching the eye of one of her Knights. She motioned to Alicia that she was going for a walk and then turned and disappeared into the trees.  
  
The darkness and sudden silence were so welcome to her current mood. She walked carefully, her sharp senses trained to catch the slightest sign of disturbance. Monsters, not to mention enemy soldiers, were everywhere these days.  
  
She reached a calm stream not too far from the camp and stopped at the edge of it. Staring out at the placid waters, her mind traveled over all that had happened to bring her here this day. A tangled skein of events that brought her to where she was now. Agrias firmly believed that Ovelia was the essential piece to end this pointless war. That's why Goltana had kidnapped her. The Princess was the key.   
  
And Agrias hadn't had the strenght to keep her safe...  
  
She looked down at her gloved hands. Slowly pulling off her leather gauntlets, she stared at the flesh underneath. Fragile flesh. She could see the scars and feel the callouses marring the skin from her years of using a sword.  
  
~Not strong enough... Not even close...~  
  
Suddenly, she began pulling off all the leather and steel covering her body. She stripped down to her skin under the ruby moonlight, standing there beside the calm stream. When she was free of her coverings, she walked closer to the water and knelt at the edge, laying her sword down on the grass. She reached up and pulled her braid over her shoulder, undoing her usual plait. She let her auburn hair fall loose around her shoulders before she slipped into the cool water.  
  
Agrias didn't know why, but she had gotten this sudden urge to wash it off. Wash it all off in the soothing water. The stress, the guilt, the worry, the pain. The physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. Even if she acted as though the three losses they'd had so far in the party didn't affect her, they did. Terribly.  
  
Floating there in the water, she held her breath and and sank into the dark depths, washing away everything, including her tears. For a moment she thought about what it would feel like to just stay there in the soothing depths and forget everything around her. So many had done it before her and would do it again in the future...  
  
But as soon as her breath began running out, she discovered the problems that came with this. She broke free through the surface and her lungs inhaled precious oxygen.  
  
Closing her eyes, she allowed herself the luxury of just floating there for a minute. Her muscles slowly loosened and she hadn't realized how tense her body had been until she could finally sigh at her relaxed muscles.  
  
A small smile graced her lips.  
  
She climbed out ten minutes later and stretched languidly before she began dressing.   
  
She had only gotten to the process of pulling her tunic over her head when she heard a rustling in the bushes behind her.  
  
Ramza came out of the cover of the trees just as she tugged her tunic down her back and over her bare legs. She turned, already reaching for her sword but stopped when she saw it was him. She froze on the spot and was aware of her face burning a brilliant crimson, but there didn't seem to be anything she could do about that.   
  
A pink shade stained his cheeks also and it looked like he was having trouble swallowing. She felt his eyes wander over her briefly before he came to his senses and turned sideways to stare at the trees, the bushes, at anything but her. He cleared his throat.  
  
"I... ah... I'm sorry... didn't mean to intrude... I had no idea... I can leave... " He swallowed as he stole a glance at her. His voice had gone a little higher than his usual serious tone and something about that calmed her a bit.  
  
She was fully aware that her hair was loose and dripping and that her tunic (which was the only article of clothing she had on besides her undergarments) only covered her to about mid-thigh. Forcing her pounding heart to slow down, she walked over to where she had left her discarded clothes.  
  
"It-it's okay, Ramza," Agrias murmured as she picked up her trousers. "You don't have to leave."  
  
With his gaze turned away from her, she pulled on her trousers over her slightly damp skin. Once she was done, she cleared her throat.  
  
She smiled faintly as she saw the unsure glances he sent her before he realized she was fully clothed in trousers and a tunic. He turned to her and blushed once again, shuffling his feet and staring at the floor in embarrassment.  
  
"I, uh, I'm really sorry, Agrias," he began, clearing his throat. "I didn't know you were... bathing... honestly, I didn't."  
  
"I told you it was okay, Ramza," she reassured, looking away to hide her own mortification and flushed face. Once she made sure she was under control, she turned back to him and offered him a small smile. "It's okay. Really, Ramza."  
  
The apprehension and worry in his dark-blue eyes slowly faded and he finally nodded. "Yeah, alright. Thanks for not being angry, Agrias," he said quietly. Then he scratched the back of his head sheepishly and smiled a little. "I don't think I would have survived if you _did_ get angry."  
  
Instead of luring a laugh out of her, she gave him a sad smile. "I'm not that strong..." she stated quietly before sinking down on the grass to begin pulling on her stockings and boots.  
  
Perplexed and concerned, he came forward slowly to stop a few inches in front of her. He crouched and looked at her averted face carefully. When he couldn't see much beyond the auburn locks that fell forward to veil her face, he reached out and brushed them away. "Agrias, what's wrong? Mustadio told me you haven't even eaten."   
  
She shook her head and looked up to smile a little. It was the most anyone could get out of her, that slight smile. He wished he could tempt a little more out of her. He was sure her full smile was beautiful. Everything about her was.  
  
"I'm okay, Ramza. I just... I just hope everything will turn out all right."   
  
He smiled in his reassuring, serious way. A smile that always made the one he was directing it at believe that everything was going to be okay in the world. "Hey, Agrias, don't worry. Of course everything will turn out all right. We're fighting for a cause. All we want is peace. Why wouldn't things go our way."  
  
~Oh, I don't know~ she thought. ~Maybe because so far, we are the smallest army ever known to stand up to, not only one, but TWO kingdoms and their bloodlust...~ But she didn't say this out loud.  
  
He must've read it in her eyes, though, because he suddenly whispered, "Don't worry, Agrias. We'll make it through somehow. And we'll save Princess Ovelia, too."  
  
Her eyes widened at the mention of the Princess. So, he also believed that Ovelia was the key to all this...  
  
Ramza straightened up from his crouch and offered her a hand once she finished lacing up her boots. For some reason it surprised her to find that his hand was just as scarred and calloused as hers was. He was young, but had lived through a bigger hell than she had, it seemed...  
  
Letting go, she reached down and picked up her sword, belting it to her waist. Her armor was still on the ground where she had left it. For some reason, she didn't want to get back into it right now. She didn't want to have its heavy weight on her for the moment. For once in the past three years, she felt a small trace of being... feminine.  
  
But knowing this was a dumb move, she sighed and picked up her chain shirt. If they were to suddenly be attacked, her defense wouldn't be as high and that could put Ramza in a whole mess of trouble. He needed her as a warrior. Nothing else.   
  
"You know," he began quietly as he helped her buckle on her armor in places that were hard for her to reach. "This was the first time I've ever seen you without armor... and with you hair loose."  
  
Agrias swallowed guiltily and pulled her hair over her shoulder where she began braiding it. "Uh-huh."  
  
Ramza smiled a little as he bent down to grab her shin-guards. He didn't tell her that he was curious to know how she would look like in a dress. Nothing fancy, like Princess Ovelia's gown. Just a dress. She'd probably send him one of her lethal looks if he even mentioned it. If he was lucky, that is. If not, well he'd be lucky to be able to walk tomorrow.  
  
After she was completely in gear, he nodded in his quiet, solemn way before frowning slightly and turning to look out at the water.  
  
"What is it?" she asked.  
  
His frown deepened. "We found a lead on her location..."  
  
There was no need to specify who he was talking about.  
  
"You did?" she asked, hope coming back tenfold.  
  
"Yeah. We heard that they're taking her to Bethla Garrison." Worry laced his tone.  
  
She immediately bacame alarmed. "Why Bethla Garrison? It's a dungeon that was made purely for the reason to execute the really bad criminals... Oh no! They couldn't seriously be thinking about... We have to save her, Ramza!"  
  
He nodded calmly. "Yes, that's what I had in mind. We'll move out at dawn. That's why I wanted all the troops to eat right and get enough rest. It will be difficult enough without being weak from lack of rest and sustenance."  
  
Agrias nodded and sighed. "Yes, I understand."  
  
"I wouldn't want you to get hurt, Agrias," he stated quietly.  
  
She looked up and met his serious dark-blue eyes. The worried way he was looking at her moved something deep within her and she smiled reassuringly at him. A genuine smile that had him smiling back.  
  
"Don't worry about us, Ramza," she said, resting her gauntleted hand on his shoulder. "You just worry about saving Princess Ovelia. She... she needs you more than we do..."  
  
~More than I do...~  
  
He nodded slowly and looked away. "Yes. We need to get her out of the Nanten's clutches."  
  
Agrias forced herself to smile as they began making their way back to the camp. Ramza would always have to put Ovelia first... Just like she would have to...  
  
In the end, it was who she was...  
  
The Great Agrias, Captain of Her Highness' Knights...  
  
A legend and a warrior, nothing more...  
  
  
  
*Argh! Damn it! Now I want to delve more into her past! *sigh* Oh, well... If anyone wants me to write another fic about this or something, feel free to say so... I think I'm gonna write another one anyway. But not about Agrias' past, yet. That may come later. If I get enough requests...*   
  



End file.
